Top 10 Most Asinine Costumes at Spirit Halloween

Every year, whilst perusing the Halloween websites for ideas and inspiration, I stumble upon costumes that just defy all sense and logic. It's not just the idiotic "Sexy Referee" or "Dirty Cop" costumes that irk the fuck out of me. They are indeed horrible, uninspired, unoriginal, and insipid. But they at least make a fanatsy/role-playing kind of perverse sense. The following ten costumes, found on Spirit Halloween's website, are just all kinds of NO:

10. Wonder Woman Corset
Seriously, Wonder Woman is already basically wearing a corset--do you really find it necessary to sex-up Wonder Woman even further?

9. Mustard Bottle
This is the costume that says "I'm really uncomfortable with my body, I have little or no imagination, I'm not really into Halloween, but I'm going to be a good sport." It also says "I procrastinated and this was all IParty had left."

It's not even name-brand :-(

8. Masters of the Universe He-Man
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! The wig really pulls this look together.














7. Miss Leatherface
I've noticed in the last few years an increase the the ridiculousness of the "sexy" costume. Sexy Freddy Kruger, Sassy Jason, you get the picture. Look, I get it--you're young, still have your looks, you want attention from the douches in their Dr. Howie Feltersnatch costumes, but really, just stick with the classics if you are too insecure to ugly it up on Halloween.

6. Anita Waxin
Whereas women want to be sexy, men revel in the gross. They seethe with homophobia, yet are the first to dress in drag. They think they are hilarious (they are not). These are the very douches that Miss Leatherface wants to impress. Sad...

5. Sexy Silence of the Lambs
This category of costume probably deserves a separate post. This Officially Licensed! straightjacket-inspired mini-dress (with matching armbands--not sure when Hannibal wore those in the movie) is just the costume to complement your date's officially licensed F.B.I. (Female Body Inspector) costume!

4. Superman Skin Suit
The hell? Spirit Halloween describes this one-piece, skin tight costume as 'incredibly realistic'. I'm not sure that what is essentially a cartoon jumpsuit qualifies as realistic. The mask, however, is quite horrifying, so it gets some Halloween points, but I don't think that's the reaction the Man of Steel Lycra should inspire.

3. JWoww Red Dress
So, this is what passes for a Halloween costume these days. A red dress that you might see on someone on any given night during the year. Why don't you just stay home, you soul-sucking waste of life?

2. Freddy Mercury Jumpsuit
I just want to take this costume out and buy it something pretty.

1. Mike Myers
When I saw this costume, I was trying to figure out which Austin Powers character she was. Fembot? Felicity Shagwell? Nope, it's Michael Myers. From Halloween. So, a blue jumpsuit, with the Halloween logo and a picture of Michael Myers on the back is somehow a costume. Oh, wait, I get it. Michael Myers wore a blue sorta jumpsuit thingy. Now it's all making sense....